Twenty Twelve

I brought Princess Nell home to San Jose, with the promise of taking her biking around the beautiful, chilly scenery of northern California. Of course, then it rained torrentially for a few days, and then winter hibernation laziness kicked in... so Nell has been neglected for two weeks :( 

The sun was finally out for an extended period of time today, and I seized the opportunity to do some neighborhood exploring. Biking by myself always leads me to thinky thoughts; something about a little solitude in motion gets my mental cogs turning like pinwheels. 

So here are a few casual thoughts on my year 2012, inspired by some lovely sights from my afternoon bike ride. 

bridge that crosses over to the neighboring golf course and explorable areas

some tall grass

I LOVE CRUNCHY LEAVES

Leaves

When I was little, sometimes I used to pretend that leaves were paper currency. (leaves and bills are both green, ok, kid Elaine wasn't that crazy). At recess, or at the park, or while camping, I would collect leaves of all types until I had stacks on stacks... and when I was content with the amount of money I had laboriously "made", I would just leave it in a pile, wherever I was. 

Looking back, either I really was crazy as shit or this was my little child-minded way of paying back nature... saying thank you via a tangible offering. As I recount my 2012, I realize that this year has brought me many amazing feats of nature to be thankful for. 

     --There was the Honors camping trip... where I witnessed the brightest moon I had seen in a long time, and the sheer grandness of giant boulders heaped upon each other all the way to heaven.

     --There was the beach escapade in Laguna...where I witnessed the strength of the ocean as it pulled at my legs and the strength of the sun as it glared a vibrant orange during sundown.  

     --There was the summer I spent in the remote beauty of rural Taiwan...where I witnessed silent fog blanket lush green mountains, a lake inspired by the sun and moon, and the whispered secrets of a bamboo forest. 

     --There was the weekend I spent camping in Joshua Tree... where I witnessed stars falling to earth, and the fairylike trails that they leave behind them. 

So with this pile of leaves, I offer my thanks. Thank you, nature, for making my 2012 wonderful with scenery and trees and meteor showers and seasons and sunlight and the carbon dioxide cycle. You're the best. 

Nell stops to commune with nature

a winding path

Pathways

I've come to notice that most walking paths are curved. Why? My theory is that it ensures a more interesting and varied range of vision for the person doing the walking. If you're walking, and you can see straight ahead of you to where exactly you're going to be in 10, 20, 50 steps... then your walk suddenly becomes a lot less exciting. The thrill of what's around the corner is lost, and you'll probably find yourself turning around and going home a lot quicker than if your path looked like the one pictured above.

It's like why paragraph breaks exist- nobody really enjoys reading a wall of text.

So if most literal paths are curved, why do we so often demand that our metaphorical life paths be direct ? Why are we in such a hurry to know what the next big thing in our lives is ? Why do we demand straight answers from a God who is creative and artistic in nature ? These are all things that I had to come to grips with in 2012. With college graduation just around the riverbend one moment, and behind me the next, the natural question is "what now? what next?" In 2012, I learned how to be inquisitive, not demanding. I added a double major out of pure enjoyment of the subject. I dropped everything and went to Taiwan for a summer. I went on night drives along winding roads to calm turbulent thoughts. I let God speak to me in mountains and forests and smiling faces, and he answered many of my questions in answers phrased just as beautifully as the surroundings I had stopped to listen in.

Creeks

As far as I'm concerned, creeks are pretty much awesome. They're kind of like classrooms, but more interactive. A creek can teach any range of things that young kids learn in an elementary school science class, like the food chain, buoyancy, tadpole metamorphosis... all in a very organic manner. Sometimes it's just easier to learn something when you're directly immersed in it. 

This is something that was the core foundation of my beloved small group, Skittens. As the standalone co-ed small group in the entire ministry, and with no real paradigm to model our studies after, we were definitely an ongoing live experiment. My dear co-leader and I wanted to create a place of openness, of inquisitive minds, and of occasionally reckless behavior. Essentially, we wanted the group to be like a creek: a place to be curious, to poke around and ask questions, to learn how to skip rocks, and to get your feet a little wet. Time says we succeeded, because we ended the year with a cohesive and loving family of small group members, and I wanted to let each of them know that they've also taught me so much in return. 

wise-looking tree

dendrites !

Branches

This year, I learned that the word "dendrites" comes from the Greek word for "branches". (this piece of trivia came about from having a boyfriend who looks at slices of brain cells all day) Dendrites are those little gangly things in your neurons that listen to all the incoming thought traffic that goes on in your brain. Without them, your kidney or eyelid or whatever body part could be knocking all day, and no one would ever answer the door. 

The aforementioned gentleman and scholar that enlightened me to this piece of information is another significant happening of my 2012. He gave me the opportunity to branch out-- to speak up, to take a risk, and to be vulnerable with emotions that I might otherwise have kept on lock and key. Once I started extending those branches, I was then given even more opportunities-- to explore places I've never been, to speak a language I've never spoken, and to experience love from a different spiritual background.

I found some mushrooms here

heading up to the terrace!

Fences

Every time I come home to San Jose, I go from Elaine the young, wild, and free...to Elaine the 22-year old with a curfew and mandated bedtime of 12 midnight. This is, of course, absolutely maddening. I graduated college this year ! Shouldn't that count for something ? I'm practically an adult, right ? These imposed boundaries have occasionally led to me stewing under the covers at the click of midnight, knowing that my peers are out living the night.

However, just because my diploma is labeled 2012, thus releasing me from the constraints and burdens of student life, it doesn't necessarily mean that I've been released out into the metaphorical adulthood pasture. These restrictions that my parents place on me are not meant to deprive me of the joys of life; rather, they are there to keep me close to home, so I can continue learning how to be patient, observant, and appreciative of what is on the other side.

peace out 2012! thanks for the good times!